Is this you?  It has been me too.   A nice person.  A good worker.  People usually like us.  People think we do a good job.  We keep working really hard so that people will keep liking us and/or thinking well of us.

Until it starts getting in the way.  And we realize it.  And we’re not as happy as we used to be that someone said we did a “good job.”  And we seem to have a really hard time making a decision because we’re worried it isn’t the “right” one.  And we’re resentful that we aren’t doing what we want to do, though we would never say that because then we’d be selfish.  Or stupid.  Or full of ourselves. (insert painful message from childhood or graduate school here).   

It has taken a long time for me to identify and change my beliefs and behaviors around this pattern, but I have.  Well, a lot of the time anyway.  I still work at it. 

And I help other people work at it too.  Really nice people who are ready for something more.

I’m a pretty stereotypical Midwesterner (full of niceness, goodness, and practicality) – and we have a low tolerance for cheesy, new agey stuff so it kind of pains me to call myself a “life coach” but there it is.   I’m not as woo-woo as some coaches but will definitely be asking you to try some new stuff (because if the old stuff was working, you wouldn't be here).  

If you find yourself totally confounded that anyone would suggest there is such a thing as “too nice” then move on because there is no conflict for you and that is totally wonderful.  No hard feelings, you have no struggle.  I’m a little jealous.

But if this is ringing some bells, keep reading and see if my hard-earned lessons and tools could benefit you too.